
Last time we talked about being offended. This week we are talking about being the offender. Now, I know what you’re thinking “I don’t offend people.” But here is the thing, you probably have and probably will. More than likely you don’t mean to, but it can happen. Before we start, offense caused because of the Gospel is a different subject for a different time. I am not referring to that when writing this blog, so keep that in mind.
I remember several months ago I was with my sister-in-law Lily. We were hanging out with a mutual friend talking and what not. Well, Lily enjoys internet videos of all types, and she had one to show our little group. She sets the video up and goes off to cook up some snacks. After the video ends, I close it out and notice that she has an UNHOLY amount of tabs open in her browser.
So naturally, me being me, I proceeded to “help” her and close all her tabs. I would soon come to regret my poor decision! After Lily had seen my helping hand, she did not take it well. Now, you’re thinking “okay, just apologize and that would be that.” Nope!
In all my wisdom I proceed to throw gas on a relativity small fire. “I don’t know why you’re getting upset; it’s not a big deal.” Needless to say, that comment caused a small, easily solvable dispute to turn into offense. While closing those tabs was not something I did maliciously, it still caused a problem.
Here lies the danger of being an offender. If you see something you have done has caused problems, GO FIX IT. The problem isn’t just with the person who you offended; it’s also with you if you don’t own up to it. It may seem to you like you are not at fault, but if something you did offend someone go to them and do everything in your power to make it right. Jesus says in Matthew 5:23-24 that if someone has something against you, go to them and make it right, then bring your offering to the alter.
Jesus puts personal responsibility on the offender to try and make things right. I’m not putting all the fault on the person who caused the offense, read my last blog, but what I am saying is YOU have a responsibility to live the way Jesus intended and died for. The most prominent reason we don’t do our part is pride. “I am right, you are wrong, and I have nothing to apologize for.” We would rather defend our position more than defend against the enemy who is trying to cause division. If you are only quick to forgive, and not apologize, you are ensnared by the devil!
In the somewhat humorous example I gave with my sister-in-law in my mind I was right. My reasoning was because she was being petty and it was no big deal, but to her, it was. So as I was thinking about the situation later, the Lord spoke to me, and it wasn’t to confirm to me that Lily needs to work on not being offended. To my surprise, He gave me a good talking to. The short and skinny of it was “Hey, your critical and pious attitude is the problem here.”
Then the Lord proceeded to reveal to me the way satan uses this to take advantage and do what he does (kill, steal, and destroy (John 10:10)). You see, when you decide to take action in a situation based on what you think instead of allowing the Holy Spirit to lead and guide you, it ends with more offense and hurt. In the example I gave, instead of trying to defend myself and telling Lily what she should be doing, I should have quickly humbled myself and apologized. Humility in asking for forgiveness brings grace for healing. God gives grace to the humble and resists the proud (1st Peter 5:6).
We have many opportunities every day to either show people Jesus or not. As you spend time getting to know God, it changes who you are and how you react to situations. James ?? tells us that strife comes from YOUR fleshly desires. If I find myself in a quarrel, it’s a me problem. It’s time we take a look at the man in the mirror and ask God to reveal pride, selfish ambitions and to help you change.
Practical Application:
Next time you see an argument coming, take a step back and say “Lord, I need your help and grace to show your character and nature in this situation.”
Ask God to change your heart to seek His will in every situation and not your own.